Week 4: People Suck! Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge Their Projections

In preparation for this episode, we asked you all to submit questions about how to navigate one of the biggest perpetrators of diet culture during the holiday season:

PEOPLE.

Your questions confirmed what we’ve known all along:

PEOPLE SUCK!!!

… at least when it comes to diet culture.

“Omg did you lose weight?! You look great!”

This week we’re serving up in-depth responses to 12 of your questions on the podcast and offering lots of responses, strategies, actionable tools, and words of wisdom to approach any situation you’ll encounter. 

And we’ve got a range of strategies for wherever you’re at in your journey, whatever your relationship or comfort level, and how much you want to engage (or not). From the walk away or deflect to the sass attack, we’ve got your back. Oh, and you can expect some role-playing too. (Warning: Kelly’s a much better actress than I!)

In lieu of repeating everything we say on the podcast, I wanted to share the 5 most valuable lessons I’ve learned when it comes to people and diet culture, and how to feel my feelings, but also find a little bit of lightness and levity amidst the tough stuff: 

1 - People’s comments are 100% of the time their shit.

Does it impact how you feel? Definitely. Does it have anything to do with you? Nope. This fact doesn’t make it easy, but it can make it easier. 

2 - When you’re feeling hurt by someone’s words, ask yourself, “Would I go to this person for advice?”

If you wouldn’t proactively seek out their advice, let that shit go immediately. That being said, I know some of the most hurtful comments are from the people we care about the most. It’s also important to note that some of the people I love the most are also the last people I’d go to for advice. Either way, some food for thought. 

3 - Many people lean on diet culture to connect.

Weird, I know. But if you think about it, it makes sense. It’s something we all experience -- every single day. It’s a common ground. A sad common ground. But a common ground nonetheless.

4 - You can’t control what people say or how they behave, but you can control how you show up and how you respond.

Leading by example can be one of your best strategies to create the environment you want. And in this situation, the fake it til you make it approach can be your best friend. 

5 - While you can choose how you respond, it’s not your job to change the world and educate everyone on your journey.

Would I love for us all to contribute to a diet culture free tomorrow? At some point, hell freaking yes. But now might not be the time. And I’d argue that if you feel a compulsion to scream it from the rooftop and change others’ thoughts and beliefs, you’ve still got a lot of work to do. (More on this in this week’s episode). Your number one priority this holiday season is taking care of your needs first. 

I could go on and on about this (and you know that by now), but I’ll leave you with this:

It’s not easy. Relationships are complicated. Reality hurts. And all your feelings are valid. 

Lean on us for support this holiday season -- we’ve got:

• This week’s podcast episode for practical tools, tips, food for thought, and a little bit of comedic relief

• The private group in our online community for questions, venting, advice, and more

• Our Instagram page for journal prompts to learn, reflect, and grow

• My Instagram page if you’re looking for more on your journey towards ditching diet culture.

• Wednesday night group calls for a safe space to connect, share, and process (The zoom link is available in the events tab of our online community. Come chat, sit in the background and observe, or ask all the questions!)

Questions? Comments? Concerns? CLICK HERE and submit them! 

I am SO happy you’re here,

-Kayla Reynolds