Ep#154 How to Grow the Miracle Butt of Your Dreams

If I were to do a side-by-side comparison of my blueberry pancakes – which, by the way, I’m obsessed with – and my behind, I think the blueberries on the pancakes would have more humps than my lady bumps back there.

But before we get too personal about my body parts, I’m going to tell you something about me so you understand why I’m comparing my bootay to fruit. My name is Zlata. The only other telltale thing you need to know at this point is that I don’t give a fuck about what you think about my flat ass.

Sister, if you have ever felt that recent body trends are just sooo unattainable and that you cannot fit in the beauty standards of the times, check out my book The Sexyfit Method book HERE , where you can find tips and tricks to loving your body for what it is while working to be the sexiest and happiest version of yourself #nothighgaprequired (plus the best blueberry pancake recipe ever!).

Here’s the deal, my friend: I do have a flat arse. Like, pancake flat.

For years, it was my biggest insecurity.

Let me define “insecurity” for you. …

Insecurity isn’t just something to giggle about, like a 14-year-old who’s wearing a bra for the first time. Truth be told, we all have at least ONE insecurity. But I must caution that you should never laugh it off. Because the likelihood is that this very insecurity that you think is innocent is fuel for the evil patterns of behavior that are keeping you from achieving the very goals you’ve set for yourself.

But back to the tale of my butt. …

So where did this come from?

Media, magazines, Kim Kardashian … I don’t know what in particular spiked my big butt obsession and thinking that my current derrière isn’t butt enough. I guess I can go back to my competition years. (If you don't know me, I was a fitness competitor who placed or won more than 26 fitness shows over the last eight years.) Since the first time I’d stepped on stage, whether it was in Figure class or Bikini, I was told by my judges, coaches, spectators – anyone with a mouth and an opinion – that I MUST grow a “winning set of glutes” to present a “total package” on stage for the next show.

So I did. I tried so hard to grow my “winning package.” (Who came up with this term anyhow? For real, just make it stop.)

I trained glutes 2-3 times a week. I squatted and lunged, and kickbacked my way into 26 shows, somehow managing to place and even win. My Pinterest was plastered with typical gym motivation: “Squat because nobody has ever written a song about a small butt,” “ Squats are a girl’s best friend,” “Squats before dates,” and whatever other nonsense was out there written about working glutes. I stared at Instagram models and my favorite “butt motivators,” trying to crack the butt-growing secrets.

They say big butts don’t lie, but on Instagram they do. All. The. Time. (Cough, cough – Teatox ads and all.) Given all of that “research,” the only skill I learned was how to spot butt implants on fitness models. No shame in your game, sister, but don’t stand there and tell me all of that’s real.

But I tried. HARD. And every time I would get in them jeans and look in the mirror, my butt wasn’t big enough. Every time I would wear a tight little dress, I would turn around to capture my bootyliciousness with carefully crafted poses so y’all would know how good my curves looked. I worked hard for them! GIVE ME A LIKE! Validate my awesomeness!

I would teach a whole class how to take a good butt selfie because that’s ART and a crafted skill. Just holler at me on Snapchat – @iamsexyfit – and I’ll walk you through it. ;)

There was one day, though, that I remember like it was this morning.

It was a typical day: I had my quarter cup of oatmeal, three egg whites. Then, as a good competitor does, dropped trou in front of the mirror after finishing my breakfast and took a selfie to send to my coach for an update.

I took the picture, and in my usual dissatisfaction sent it off into cyberspace for my coach to judge my “package” once again; me anticipating a strict email back about having to drop more carbs because I wasn’t lean enough.

But that wasn’t even what changed everything for me.

I saw my thighs. And then I turned to the side and saw the backs of my legs, formerly knows as hamstrings. My legs were so f*¢#ing huge. Like never before. Ever. At that point, leggings were pants, and I could hardly fit into any pants because my legs got so big. And, sure, so did my butt.

Sister, I get you. I get you one hundred percent. Women do get bulky. Our legs get bulky when we train heavily and consistently. Any coach or trainer out there who says this doesn’t happen is in denial and completely NOT listening to what you’re telling them, so fire them and hire me … just kidding about that last part. But really, I had bulky legs and a nice butt to go along with it, but at that point I HATED it all.

I hated my legs.

I hated the backs of my legs.

I hated my calves.

I hated my butt.

I hated my stomach, which never seemed to shape itself into a six-pack.

I hated my arms.

I hated everything about my body because it was never good enough.

It may have been my out-of-whack hormones from stage 3 Adrenal Fatigue or extreme carb depletion, but that morning I didn’t leave the house. I ate my leg-size worth of mini-donuts and tortilla chips because I thought my body sucks anyway.

I don’t know if it was the grace of God, carbs finally reached my brain, or what had gotten into me, but a lightning bolt hit

“I can’t live like this anymore. All I talk about is carbs … and, actually, my arse. I’m a smart, educated woman with a master’s degree and a career. WTF am I doing this for? Do I have to live like this? Because I did this to myself? Do I want to talk about carbs for the rest of my life? Really? And hate myself like this?”

At that moment, I knew that I was beyond done with the whole industry and the idea of a big rear and a six-pack, and all of the slogan terminology of the traditional fitness industry that made me feel like less and sent me on a self-hate roller-coaster.

Granted, I’m an extreme case of this because I am just that: extreme at everything.

But, how many of us on a daily basis hear “BIG boobs,” “SMALL waist,” and a big beeeehiiinnnnddd are a must beauty standard?

I’ll let you in on a little secret: Fitness and fashion go in trends. Five years ago, women wanted to be that skinny girl, after that came the big tittie committee era and every woman was blonde. And now we’re in butt obsession insanity.

Um, WHY?

Here’s how this article came about and why my talk about insecurities. …

It’s been about three years since I stepped off the competitive stage, but it’s also been about three years of dealing with the aftermath of the beauty industry bullying that I willingly made myself the subject of.

Recently I did a Facebook Live session about three winning power moves to shape your glutes and get rid of cellulite, sharing my best secrets and best practices for a lovely bootay. If you’re not yet watching my Facebook Live sessions, you should be experiencing serious FOMO right now because if I say so maaaself they’re pretty awesome.

There were a few women women watching, but I knew that this would be one of those subjects that would get a lot of views, so I was there in all of my awesomeness sharing and caring for our Sexyfit Community. I know a few things – especially after having a pancake booty, growing a muffin booty and watermelon-sized buns, and losing all of that muscle altogether because I realized I seriously didn’t need it – so I got skills. I got game when it comes to butt magic.

But it didn’t appear so on camera to some because I had dealt with flat butt insecurity a while back in therapy. Of course, there’s always some twit who logs into your Facebook Live session while you’re dishing out wisdom about compound movements and the magic of pushing through your heels (take note of that, everyone) and decides to comment on your broadcast. Now mind you, all of this is happening LIVE. Comments are rolling in LIVE, and while I’m answering questions, this comment pops up:

“WOW, THAT’S A FLAT ASS”

I saw the comment and immediately wanted to shut the damn camera off, run to the bathroom, close the door, and sing a Jesus song.

But I kind of couldn’t. Because at that point there were women watching me, and I’m a leader. I’m on Facebook Live with sometimes hundreds of people, sometimes five – but the number truly doesn’t matter because I’m blessed with the five who gave me the time of day to learn from my wisdom.

So it was kind of one of those situations where you know everyone on the other side of the camera is going “Oh, snap! What’s she gonna do?”

I don’t always address these comments; well, actually, I never address them. But this one really caught me off guard for whatever reason.

Here’s my reply – fast forwarded through the actual teaching part so we get to the real “juice” of the conversation.

Here’s the truth. …

We’re shoved a fast-food version of health down our throats on a daily basis.

Fitness marketing focuses on quick results, hitting fears and insecurities so you, my friend, buY whatever is sold faster. I’ve been studying this online marketing stuff for a few years now, and it actually baffles my mind how many smart, educated women like you and I buy into this crap.

We have a distorted and completely unrealistic idea of what healthy and fit actually is. …

Healthy looks like six-pack abs. LIE! Some of my fitness model friends struggle with the worst of eating disorders and body image distortion. Those very ones you see on magazine covers and DVDs.

Healthy looks like a big booty. NOPE! Half the models you see on Instagram either bought it or had it to begin with. You can’t out-argue me on this, it’s a well known fact in the industry.

Healthy is being chiseled to the max. WRONG! Very few achieve this the healthy way, and typically diet for months and years to look like that.

So, what is the point of this whole roller coaster of having chiseled abs, huge butts and tiny waist? Why are we striving for the optical illusion of health that is unattainable by 99% of female populations?

Haven’t we had enough of this nonsense?

What is health and fitness really about?

Its simple, it’s actually really really really simple.

The answer is love and it’s always love.

Because when we have the true, carrying, passionate and compassionate love for ourselves what we “should” look like no longer matters. What others want us to look like no longer holds value because true love doesn’t care about how it looks on the outside.

That’s what I always wanted Sexyfit to stand on. Sexyfit to me encompasses confidence, inner strength, and loving yourself enough to dedicate time to yourself in your full schedule. Not Instagram ass obsessed selfies and shameless teatox sponsored ads.

Ok, off my Sexyfit soap box and defining healthy once and for all.

Here are the key elements of a lasting “healthy” lifestyle.

Energy. Endless energy to be a better mom, wife, employee, business owner, grandma, self. We’re robbed of energy on a daily basis. Technology, GMO foods, excess sugar in everything, gallons of coffee, lack of sun, lack of sleep. We’re IN an energy epidemic, and the only way to get more of it is to generate it. Just like a car that you leave outside with the lights on; that’s what our body is like when we don’t take it for a walk or a workout. It’s a tired, dead car sitting in the parking lot waiting for a jump-start.  

Mood. How often do we find ourselves waking up and going “Welp, let the dog day begin,” or scroll on our newsfeed and start to get seriously scared for the well-being of the universe as a whole? Guess what? What we pay attention to expands. So if we focus on the negative, we’ll only see negative, and that’s what we’ll find everywhere we go: more stress, more depression, and more crap in our shit soup of life. When we exercise, it’s scientifically proven that it puts us in a good mood. And unlike other fitness people who pull ridiculous stats out of their behinds, I’m actually going to cite the research. Just like I cite every statement in my books and fitness plans. EXERCISE makes us happier! Happiness – isn’t that what everyone’s so obsessed with right now? You want instant happiness, go on a mile run; you’ll be so happy you’re finished, and all of a sudden your boyfriend, job, life are going to look like a fairy tale because you instantly feel better about everything you already have.

Confidence. Amazing things happen when we pick up and put down heavy things, when we break a running record, or, perhaps, do five burpees for the first time. All of a sudden, any meeting we walk into sounds like a piece of cake because we’ve got it. We already HAD it with our morning workout, and since that’s always a near-death experience, nothing can break us anymore.

Strength. How many of us out there can’t open a jar of peanut butter? Or grab that one thing from the top shelf or, perhaps, toss the hockey sticks in the back of the van. That’s where resistance training comes in. Not just for the arse, sister, but for the fact that we’re strong woman who can handle a physical challenge, too. There’s nothing worse then feeling physically weak because we actually can’t enjoy the simple joys and pleasures in life, like opening a jar of peanut butter on demand.

Community. When we’re happier, we have more energy. When we’re confident and strong, what kind of people are we going to attract in our life? We’re human, we crave connection, we long to be part of a tribe, we love people around us despite that we might not have gone out in years because #humanssuck. NO! When we exercise, we find other happy, sexy, confident, strong humans who are there to enrich our life with more of those qualities, so we can go through this stressed-out, busy, roller-coaster of a life with more joy and pleasure.

Notice that my idea of health has nothing to with my size, my butt, the number on the scale, or a label. I was obsessed with those stats for years because I, too, thought that’s what health meant.

I don’t know about you, but I want to go through life with endless energy, unbeatable confidence, strength to endure any hardship, and the most amazing community of supporters and cheerleaders who insure that I’m a joyful and happy human being!

YES, YES, AND YES!!

So, that’s why I don’t give AF about my flat butt. Because it’s mine and I LOVE IT and I don’t care what you think about the size of it because it doesn’t define my health, happiness, and confidence.

As for the bullies and everyone with an opinion about your small tush or any other body part, remember this tweet from famous DJ Diplo to Taylor Swift: “someone should make a kickstarter to get taylor swift a booty”

Bullies – they’re everywhere. Anyone from the loser sitting on the couch eating cheese puffs and commenting on someone’s Facebook Live; to your husband in an indirect way; to a magazine sitting on your coffee table; to a superstar DJ touring the world, who should know better.

You can’t spend your life wanting to run away, lock yourself in the bathroom singing a Jesus song. At the end of the day, any of those comments are NOT about you. NO, ALL of those comments are NOT about you. They’re about the insecurities of the person who wrote them, vocalized them, projected them on you.

What’s a girl to do now?

If you have any insecurities as big or as small as mine are, assess where this is truly holding you back. I didn’t shoot a single video for two years because I was terrified of that single comment I’m talking about today. Then I realized I couldn’t pay my bills with the opinion of some Andy. Neither can I really change the world if I’m terrified of sharing my knowledge.

You, too, can’t go through life with this kind of thinking. Being afraid sucks because it keeps you small. It shrinks you when you want to step forward. The best solution for fear is always courage. The courage to stand UP for yourself, to stand up for OTHERS. Do not let this happen to you, your neighbor, your sister, or anyone. Obviously, completely disregard a cyberbully because praise the Facebook god there’s a block/ban button for that. Use your voice, sister. You have one. You can use it to speak up, you can use your voice to take actions that are going to give you a firm foundation to stand on. The ultimate foundation of loving yourself enough to not place the power into one bully’s hands. The type of self love that’s going to propel your success, effort, dedication, and strength to new levels you never even knew existed.

In my video, I wasn’t telling the cyberbully to eat dirt. Rather, I gave myself permission to have a voice to stand up for myself, my community, and my opinion about what health actually is. I’m no Kim Kardashian, and I sure don’t want to be. I’m Zlata Sushchik. And that’s enough in so many ways.

You are enough, too. So don’t let a magazine cover – or anyone else – tell you otherwise.