5 Ways You Unconsciously Sabotage Your New Relationship: Bonus Episode 02

5 Ways You’re Unconsciously Sabotaging Your New Relationship

New relationships can be exciting, you might have even created your impossible dream of falling in love…..and then a new set of problems start to show up. We start to sabotage the very thing we have always wanted or dreamt of.

Our new man can scare us, it all can seem too good to be true and the most common ways people sabotage themselves is by committing one of these ‘five deadly sins’.

Always finding fault in others

When we get what we want our negativity can be magnified. We can start to find fault in others, reasons why they are not perfect to be your boyfriend. You might start picking on his physical appearance, his personality or maybe the way he says or does things but remember if falling in love with a great guy is foreign to you, you need to give it a chance. And ask yourself “Is this my stuff or can I genuinely not stand these things”, because ultimately men want to be loved and accepted exactly as they are.

When we fault-find we cannot create the intimacy and deep love we really crave. So let it go.

Wanting him to know what you’re thinking

I can’t read your mind, men can’t read your mind and one of the biggest mistakes women make is not communicating their needs, wants and desires.  From day one there will be challenges in your relationships and as the relationship grow, they get bigger.

How a relationship starts is how the relationship ends. Establish at three months what the relationship is; don’t just go along with things. Show him how you like to be loved. Share with him your fears, hopes and dreams. Don’t just go along with things and hope they will work out, that is called giving your power away.

Men cannot read your mind and they’re happier in a relationship with a woman who can confidently express her feelings and communicate her needs in a way that benefits both of you. So don’t ever be afraid to speak up.

Always have the conversation you are scared to have, otherwise it manifests as a fight further down the line and that comes from an unmet need in either you or him and it has festered.

Anticipating it is not going to work out

What we focus on grows. So, be careful with this one because your worst fears can become your reality. Anticipating it’s not going to work out comes from a place of insecurity and lack of self-love. You’ve got to nip this in the bud and shift your perception.

He wouldn’t be there if he didn’t want you in his life and it is up to you to own it, recognize you deserve it and roll with it. Forget the future, the what if’s and focus on the now, focus on why it can work.

Creating unrealistic expectation

You don’t want to get hurt so you want him to call you every night. Text you every am and pm and act like your boyfriend. When he does everything right by your standards then you will sleep with him and then you will trust him because you don’t want what happened before to happen again. 

This thinking is coming from fear, fear of getting hurt, fear you are more into him than he into you , fear of losing him, fear of commitment or whatever your symptom might happen to be.

Be careful that your expectations are not stopping a perfectly healthy relationship from evolving organically and it is another way for you to keep yourself stuck.

Learn to live in the moment, and remember as long as everything is heading in the right direction you are good. As in he’s always stepping up and the relationship is growing.

Doubting your worth

Now, you got what you wanted and all those self-doubts get stronger and stronger. You fear his every move. Wondering how to act, to be or what to do, so you don’t mess it up? Everyone suffers from self-doubt at some point but don't let your self-doubt be the cause of sabotage.

What will be, will be. You just need to remember to always bring your best self to every interaction. When you play your part right, the right guy will step up and adore you.

When you let self-doubt rule you’re mind you will become a turn off to others, just learn to like yourself.

Are you sabotaging your relationship? If you like this remember to join our private Dating Secrets Revealed FB group you will find the link at the bottom of page in our show notes at www.badboybreakthrough.com/podcasts