Are You Coming Across Needy?- Bonus Episode 09

Are you coming across as the needy girl? Are you fine on the first date, but as soon as you like him you fall apart?  You don't know what to say, how to behave and bit by bit that gorgeous guy smiling across from you wants to disappear. To make matters worse the more you don't hear from him, the more you blow up his phone asking him where he is? what he is doing? When does he want to meet again? And afterwards you cringing wishing you hadn't done that, right?

Watch you are not making these mistakes....

When we really like someone, we want them to like us back. We become vulnerable and become ultra-agreeable with that person. He likes football, but you absolutely hate it. Three dates later you are hanging on his every word and you agree to go to a football match with him. Now, at the game you are the most miserable person there. The smart confident women he asked out has now turned into the worse company he has ever experienced and your handsome man has disappeared. He has sensed your need to be agreeable and his attraction level plummeted. Men like women, who have their own opinions, interests, and hobbies. This leads me to the next point …

It’s Friday night and you have agreed to have a wine and cheese night in with you girlfriends and you told your mother you would call at 7pm. Brad calls at 6.50pm asking you out at 7.30pm. A little short notice, but you forgive him anyway. You laugh at his jokes, listen to all his excuses as to why he could not call you earlier in the week and then agree that you will be ready to meet him at the local bar. On your way there you text your mum saying you can’t make the call tonight and send a mass text to your friends that this great guy wants to see you and the only night he is free is tonight. Are you coming across as needy? I think so……now his respect and attraction for you has plummeted. Ouch!!

The most important part of dating is his ability to follow up in between dates. Your job is to sit on your fingers while he is thinking sweet thoughts about what a great time he had with that confident brunette until he calls back. That means you! You don’t need to play games, you don’t need to hint to him that it has been four days since you spoke and you don’t need to remind him it has been a week since you last saw each other. Men do what they want and if he wants you, he will make the effort. All you have to do is mirror his actions by answering the phone when he calls as your happy, positive, “I have altogether” self. Men like to win you over. Needy girls put words in his mouth, stalk his Facebook page, and are jealous of every girl he mentions. Sit back and relax let that boy work for you. You will be gracefully rewarded.

The one of the most common mistakes women make in the early stages of dating is putting the cart before the horse. You see men are little slower in knowing what exactly they want and need time to figure it all out. Yes, I know it is frustrating, but please believe me; you will be vastly rewarded if you choose to live in the present moment instead of the future. Show him your fun, light hearted self. Dating is the selling and buying stage. This is you at your best or your worse. A Confident girl is at her best, a needy girl is at her worse. So, let go of the need to plan the future. If you feel yourself going into need mode pull out your nail file and relax. No future thinking!

Every time you feel the need to be needy, ask yourself this one question. What would a confident girl do in this situation? Extract your emotions from the situation, look observantly and pull that cupid arrow out of your butt long enough to think to yourself is this man of good character and a good fit for me. Am I coming from a place of dating neediness or confidence? If I were you, I would choose the latter.

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