The Real Clues He Is Thinking Of Long-Term Love With You- Bonus Episode 10

Welcome to the Magnet for Love podcast. I want to chat to you today about how to tell very early on when you're in the dating phase that the guy you're with is interested in long-term love with you.  The guy that's texting or calling you, how do you actually tell whether it is long-term love? As I always put it; is he the wrong guy or the right guy?

There are a couple of really big clues. I'm going to share with you what to look out for to tell that he is into long-term love. 

Listen To His Words

When you're dating a guy, you will notice that in the very early stages he will say something along the lines of… "I'm getting over my ex. I'm not looking for a long-term relationship. I just want to have fun. I'm just out of a divorce. I don't know what I want. I really like you but ..." Whenever you hear a guy saying something along the lines of, "I'm not looking for anything serious”. I'm not looking for a relationship right now." You've got to believe his words. This is the language of a man who is not looking for long-term love with you.

The mistake women make, which brings me to my second point, is that when they like a guy they tend to overlook the little red flags that are in front of them. Men are pretty straightforward. They're quite true to their word….. if you're listening! When a guy says to you, "I'm not looking for a long-term relationship" and you continue to date him and you continue to hope that it will work out, remember that guy is not going to give you the relationship you want. That's a really big clue. Listen to his words very early on when you meet a guy who is showing interest in you.

His Actions-What Happens Between the Dates

A second really big clue is his actions. If a guy brings you on a date and you've had a really good time, he treated you really well, he's really cuddly, he was really fun, he laughed at your jokes, you laughed at his, and you had great sex. Honestly, that doesn't matter if what he does in between the dates is not consistent. Look at his actions. What is he doing between the dates? What is he doing between that times when you're not together?

When you're with a guy that says he likes you when he's with you but then you're not with him, he's never really there when you need him, your car breaks down in the middle of the road, you call him for some support and you get his voicemail or you get ignored, or he tells you in between the dates, "Oh, we'll catch up whenever" but doesn't really give you when and where, this is a sign of a guy that's not into long-term love.

Notice what he is doing between the dates. It's the follow up that is a big clue to his level of interest in you. Notice his words, notice his actions between the dates, doesn't matter what he does on the date and how great he tells you and how much he loves you and how much he wants a future, if he is not being consistent between those dates that's a red flag. Check that out.

Men Are Simple

As I said earlier, the third thing I want to talk about is “men are simple”. If a guy likes you he'll make you a priority. Anybody in life does this... Think about your own life with your best friend and she says, "Look, I want you to come to my house this Saturday. We haven't met up in ages. Let's go for a coffee." If you really, really wanted to be there you would make it a priority. If something really means something to you, you’ll figure it out.

Notice if he is treating you like you are a priority in his life? It is important you also make him feel like a priority in your life that you are not playing either. If you like him, are you making him a priority too? What I mean by that is, not that you stop everything you're doing for a guy but if a guy asks you out on a Wednesday, "Are you free this coming Friday?" If you're not free all you've got to do is say, "You know what? I cannot wait to see you. I would love to see you this Friday but I can't make it. Are you free Saturday or Sunday?" The right guy steps up. The wrong guy backs off and sees you as hard work. We all had lives before we meet “the one” quality men get that.

Remember men are either into you or they are not. I always say that. Men are either into you or they're not. There are no blurred lines. If you find yourself reading between the lines you have to work out is that your anxiety or is it something he's doing that's creating your anxiety?

It Feels Easy

It's also easy. When you meet the right guy it tends to flow quite effortlessly. When there's a challenge that comes up. That’s fine because obstacles leave clues, which is another big hint if he's in long-term love. A really good example of this is the whole, "Should we sleep together? How do I approach that? Is he going to be my boyfriend?" How this is navigated is a very big clue to his interest in long-term love with you or not.

Another really good example is when a guy asks you out. The wrong guy will typically ask you out; say its 7pm, to go on a date at 8pm on the same night. A quality guy will ask you out on a Wednesday for a Friday/Saturday. He's going to give you notice. The right response would be to simply say, "You know, I'd really love to go out with you and I can't wait to meet you but sorry I can't make it this Thursday but I'm free next Saturday and Monday." You're asking that guy to value you and make you a priority and treat you well.

A good guy in this scenario tends to step up and make an effort for you. The wrong guy finds you hard work. All these obstacles that show up along the dating phase if you are getting through them smoothly it's a good indicator of long-term love.

He Will Commit In The First Three Months

I want to share another really important point: commitment. If a guy is into you he will tend to commit in the first three. I made this mistake myself. I went out with a guy and he kept asking me out for dinner. This is over the space of a couple of months. I wasn't that into him physically and he kept asking me out and he kept asking me out. Then he acted like boyfriend material, but because of the head space I was in at the time all I didn’t really worry about the whole commitment thing. He acted like my boyfriend.

Nine months later I found myself really starting to like him. I asked him, "Where's this relationship going?" He said, "Oh, we're just seeing each other." I was gutted. The thing is, and I see this with friends, I see this in my coaching, and I saw this in my own world before I turned my life around, is that if a guy is into you he's going to commit in the first three months or not at all.

If you're going out with somebody right now and it's 10 years, five years, two years, and you have not established what the relationship is that's really important. Women go out with men for years and he's not committed and the evidence was there in the beginning. It's up to you to establish that preferably before you sleep with him. Do look out. Is he committing to you?

I Like Him But or I Like Him And….

The last point I want to tell you about is if you ever hear yourself saying this (your friends will probably notice before you!) it’s a good indicator if you're into long-term love or short-term love, is when you say to your friends, "I like him and ..." or, "I like him but ..." You'll always hear a women who is in a happy relationship saying, "I like him and he treats me well. He makes me feel good about myself. He's fun to be with. I can't wait to meet his family. I feel really good about myself."

A woman who is in a relationship that is not meeting her needs, wants, and desires will say, "I like him but he never calls me when he says he's going to call me. We have really great dates but then I don't hear from him for six weeks. I like him but he says he doesn't want to commit to a relationship. I like him but he's always busy." Notice how you're making excuses for your relationship. They are very clear cut signs that the guy you're with right now is looking for long-term love or if he's not.

So remember if a guy into you, you can tell by his words, his actions, remember men are simple, it is easy, when he commits and notice your reasons for liking him.

If you found this a bit of a revelation, I would love to tell you about our latest event. It's the Magnet For Love summit. This is where 20 of the best dating experts in the world come together to give you free information, they're free gifts, and help you go from, "This is not happening for me right now" to, "How did I end up in a loving relationship with a great guy?"

Magnet For Love's philosophy is always about becoming what you want to attract. How can I make my life better to have what I want? Check out the summit here http://www.lornapoole.com/magnet-love-summit. Everything you need to know about men, love, dating and relationships.