#11 - Finally Saying 'I'm Sorry' To Your Body

Making amends has major emotional benefits. For starters, you heal emotional wounds when the “wrongdoer” acknowledges the harm they caused. Apologies help you move past anger and opens the door to forgiveness, which allows everyone involved to move forward in life.

Today it’s time to give your younger self a great big hug. We’re talking about finally saying “I’m sorry” to your body, and how making peace with the past can help your Body Kindness practice.

You don’t want to miss the shocking confession Bernie shared that he believes is a source of his struggle with body kindness in his life -- and I chime in with my best words of support and encouragement.

Here's what we talked about…

• Today’s show was sparked by a cathartic experience on a recent visit to my childhood town - where my body hatred began. I wrote an essay on how I apologized to my body and made amends my younger self: “A girl I know was innocently trying to do the right things. But instead she got it all twisted and became another victim of our society’s harsh judgment of females — we’re only good when we look great (or at least putting all our efforts in the pursuit)”.
• I’ve now made amends and invite you to make peace with your inner child — or any version of yourself you’ve wronged: “There’s no complicated list of steps to follow, just one simple action. Say “I’m sorry,” really mean it and get back to your life.”
• Bernie confessed that despite living near the beach he hasn’t been in the water for decades, due to feeling self-conscious and fearing ridicule.
• I pointed out that he’s made a habit of avoiding situations where he feels body vulnerability.
• Bernie asked if my growth came from caring less about other’s opinions. I said it wasn’t an overnight change and took a range of influences to build self compassion and a true values system beyond appearance.
• I asked Bernie what the nature of his apology would be. He shared that he’d been physically abused a child.
• I told Bernie this is a trauma and it’s okay if dealing with it is part of his life’s work. It’s also connected to his relationship to his body. Abuse and trauma create more intense fears and irrational processing of certain situations, making them extra difficult.
• I invited Bernie and our listeners to think of ways that traumatic experiences have made you stronger and more resilient.
• Why say sorry to your body, and how can it help our Body Kindness practice? Making peace with your inner child means you can embrace your body as it is right now, to free yourself brick by brick and start living more fully.
• Bernie says his apology could help him start breaking free of his self-imposed isolation. He wants to be a good role model for his daughter and joyfully engage with life.
• I said that doing that means engaging with vulnerability - being willing to hold the discomfort while doing what matters. We beat our fears by facing them. 

Links mentioned

• My essay on Medium - http://bit.ly/2b8nYHU
• The Science of Post traumatic growth - http://bit.ly/2b8nUIe
• How Trauma Can Change You For The Better - http://ti.me/2b8o02y
• TED Talk by Jane McGonigal, PhD on Post Traumatic Growth and Resilience - http://bit.ly/2b8nBNk
• How to Stop Avoiding What Overwhelms You - http://bit.ly/2b8o8z4

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Nothing in this podcast is meant to provide medical diagnosis, treatment, cure, or prevent any disease or condition. Individuals should consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical advice and answers to personal health questions.