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Podcast: Personal Development School
Episode:

THIS Happens When The Avoidant Realizes They Lost You
Category: Education
Duration: 00:13:06
Publish Date: 2026-01-30 10:00:00
Description:

Get the Somatic Attachment Healing Course FREE for life when you start your 7-day trial of the All-Access Pass:
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If you’re caught in cycles of emotional pain, overthinking, or fear of getting close again, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening beneath the surface, and how to start healing at the root.

 

Episode Summary

Breakups don’t just hurt emotionally; they can activate deep attachment wounds that keep us stuck in fear, rumination, and self-doubt. In this episode, we explore why commitment can feel so threatening after heartbreak, how the subconscious mind enters “flaw-finding mode,” and why the boomerang effect can pull us back into unhealthy dynamics.

You’ll learn how to separate genuine feelings from fear-based reactions, why holding no contact is so powerful for healing, and how to begin rewriting old emotional stories so you can create secure, healthy relationships moving forward.

 

Key Takeaways

Why fear of commitment often intensifies after a breakup

How to distinguish real feelings from subconscious fear responses

What “flaw-finding mode” is and how it sabotages the connection

The boomerang effect and why it keeps pulling you back

Why holding no contact supports nervous system regulation

How routines help rewire old attachment patterns

Practical steps to heal emotionally and move forward with clarity

 

Timestamps

00:00:00 – Intro
00:01:31 – A Fear of Commitment
00:02:40 – Feelings Minus Fears
00:04:31 – Flaw Finding Mode
00:05:56 – Boomerang Effect
00:08:50 – IAT Promo
00:09:43 – Hold No Contact
00:10:44 – Rewrite Our Old Stories
00:11:46 – Find a Routine
00:12:30 – Conclusion / How to Heal From a Breakup

 

Meet the Host
Thais Gibson is the founder of The Personal Development School and a world leader in attachment theory. With a Ph.D. and over a dozen certifications, she’s helped more than 70,000 people reprogram their subconscious and build thriving relationships.

 

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