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Home > Daily Emunah Podcast - Daily Emunah By Rabbi David Ashear > A Day for Forgiving
Podcast: Daily Emunah Podcast - Daily Emunah By Rabbi David Ashear
Episode:

A Day for Forgiving
Category: Religion & Spirituality
Duration: 00:00:00
Publish Date: 2021-09-14 13:00:00
Description: We ask Hashem in the Avinu Malkenu , מחוק ברחמיך הרבים כל שטרי חובותינו – to erase with an abundance of mercy any documents that were written for punishment. One of the ways in which we could have this accomplished is by overlooking when others have wronged us. Reb Zalman of Volozhin once saw a Jew asking for forgiveness from an acquaintance on Erev Yom Kippur and that man replied, “You ruined my reputation and the halacha says I’m not obligated to forgive, so I’m not going to.” Reb Zalman went over to that man afterward and said, “It’s true you’re not obligated to forgive, but now you have a chance to be מעביר על מידותיו – to go above and beyond and overlook, and that will do wonders for you, including causing Hashem to forgive you for all your sins.” The Chida writes in the name of the Ramak, "אין דבר שמכשיר את הנפש ומכפר על עוונה – there is nothing that can purify the soul and atone for sin – כמו שומע חרפתו ושותק – like when someone is shamed and he stays quiet and forgives the person for what he did – זה יותר מכל התעניות והסיגופים שבעולם – and this accomplishes more than any amount of fasting or self-inflicted pain that exist in the world. We don’t ask to be tested in this area because it is extremely difficult to truly forgive another individual who has harmed us. But if it already happened, we have to know of the golden opportunity we have to make the heroic efforts and forgive. The Gemara says in Masechet Pesachim (117), there are three individuals that Hashem has an extra special love for. One of those individuals is someone who overlooks when he is wronged or shamed by another. The Gemara in Chagiga (5) says that Hashem gives extra years of life to someone who is able to overlook when he is wronged. The Gemara specifies, the extra life is given to a צורבא מרבנן דמעביר במיליה – a young Torah scholar who overlooks when he is wronged. The Ben Yehoyada explains the reason the young scholar was chosen because since he is young and hot tempered and he has the passion of Torah inside of him, the test for him to overlook is very difficult. Which means, the harder it is for a person to overlook, the greater is his reward. If someone is thinking, I could never forgive so-and-so for what he/she did to me . That just means that this person has an even greater opportunity to tap into the wondrous reward given for accomplishing that feat. David HaMelech earned the merit of becoming the fourth leg of Hashem’s Heavenly Chariot by remaining silent when he was being verbally abused by Shimi ben Gera. For a king to remain quiet when being abused by one of his subjects is extremely difficult. The Chatam Sofer writes, Pinchas became Eliyahu HaNavi and lives forever because he was being publicly shamed, when he did his act of zealotry, and he did not reply, and overlooked instead. Somebody once went to Rav Chaim Kanievsky, shlita , for a blessing to have children. He told that person the Gemara in Chulin which says the world exists in the merit of someone who is able to keep his mouth shut during a fight. If the entire world is in existence because of that merit, surely the merit will enable him to help populate the world by having children. I heard a class from a rabbi who gave at least a half a dozen stories of people who were given yeshuot right after they were able to overlook when they were wronged. One story was about a man who was completely humiliated by his in-laws, and instead of responding, he said to himself, “I’m going to keep quiet as a merit for a refuah shelemah for my friend.” And indeed, that friend became healed. Yom Kippur is a day of forgiveness. We want Hashem to forgive us. The more we’re able to forgive others, the more we’ll be forgiven. And, if doing that is extremely difficult, it will only make the rewards even greater.
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