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In this thought-provoking episode of Sex with Emily, Dr. Emily welcomes linguist and author Amanda Montell ("Word Sl*t: A Feminist Guide to Taking Back the English Language") explore how patriarchal language controls our sex lives. They reveal why terms like "penetration" frame intimacy from a male perspective, how medical language describes vaginas as "organs that receive the penis" while penises get weapon metaphors, and why violent bedroom slang reflects power imbalances.
The discussion covers language reclamation strategies, from using "vulva" instead of "vajay-jay" to how transgender communities create new sexual terminology. Dr. Emily addresses listener questions about safe sex conversations during hookups, overcoming conservative shame around oral pleasure, and breaking toxic relationship cycles.
This episode shows how conscious language choices can revolutionize sexual experiences, moving from patriarchal frameworks toward more equitable intimate expression.
Timestamps:
0:22 - Introduction
4:21 - Why "penetration" frames sex from a penis perspective
7:56 - Medical definitions: "the organ that receives the penis"
11:16 - The problem with "vajay-jay"
18:02 - Mission to reclaim slurs
28:15 - Safe sex conversations during hookups
31:58 - Learning to enjoy giving oral pleasure
39:24 - Breaking recurring relationship explosion patterns
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