005: How to Help Your Kids Fall in Love With Reading

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We know that reading plays an integral role in childhood development and is a part of setting a solid foundation for a successful future. How do we go beyond simply teaching our children to read and help them foster a love for reading?

In this episode, Ben and Rachel talk about approaching reading in different stages of life, and share the key to helping your kids fall in love with reading.

Show Notes:

Read Out Loud From Day One

• 04:46 Ben: The key to helping your child develop a love for reading is reading out loud to them. It is one of the most powerful things you can do as a parent if you want your child to have a life long love of reading.
• 05:18 Rachel: There’s a book called “The Read-Aloud Handbook” by Jim Trelease that I read when our firstborn was really little. I still remember a quote from the book that says, “The single most important activity for building the knowledge required for eventual success in reading is reading aloud to children.” That means reading aloud is the most powerful teaching tool.
• 06:48 Ben: We should be reading aloud from day one. Literally, after the baby is delivered, before the doctor takes him to get him cleaned up, read a book. I’m just kidding, of course.
• 07:06 Rachel: When our twins were in the NICU, I remember reading to them every time we were there. People may laugh, but I was reading a sci-fi book to them, but it doesn’t matter that they couldn’t understand it because they’re hearing the language and they find comfort in hearing their parents speak.

Read in Character Voices

• 08:04 Ben: I want to encourage you to read in character voices for your kids. Don’t just make the voices sound different from character to character. While that is important, it’s even better if you can get into the part and make it entertaining for your kids. In the previous episode we talked about how different parts of the brain are awakened when we experience play, and the same principle applies here. When you are having fun with your kids while you read, it’s going to create a deeper impression in their minds.
• 09:43 Rachel: There’s a book written by BJ Novak called “The Book With No Pictures” that doesn’t have any pictures but has a lot of silly words in it. There’s a video of him reading it to a group of kids, and even though there are no pictures, the kids think it’s hilarious and have a great time.
• 10:30 Ben: When kids see someone reading a book and they’re having a good time, it creates an association in their mind between enjoyment and reading. Over time, that association becomes an expectation. They will come to expect reading to be an enjoyable experience.

Audiobooks

• 11:20 Rachel: Sometimes the voices can be difficult or we feel might feel self conscious. You can create a similar experience for your children by using audio books. I was once reading the classic “Robin Hood” to our kids and I was having such a difficult time doing the Old English accent that I finally decided to let the audiobook take over.
• 12:14 Ben: The audiobook is something we’ve used to run in the background while the kids are playing or eating. This is a great alternative to watching tv during those activities.
• 12:52 Rachel: Every morning lately we’ve been listening to “Rump” by Liesl Shurtliff while the boys have their playtime. Even though they’re playing, they’ll laugh every once in a while at something they’ve heard. Usually the name “Rump.”

Make Reading Accessible

• 13:39 Ben: It’s important to make reading accessible for our children. This means the books are age appropriate, in a place where they can physically get to them, and that there’s time set aside specifically for reading. What that might look like for a baby is having the little indestructible squeaky books.
• 14:41 Rachel: “What to Read When” by Pam Allen is a great resource not only for age appropriate books, but also books matched to our kids’ emotions.
• 14:59 Ben: Our twins were really good at tearing apart board books when they were about two years old. I had to let go of my desire to see books well taken care of. So while we do tell our boys how we should treat books, we favor the boys having access to books over the books never getting ripped or worn.

Talk About the Stories

• 17:25 Ben: Talking with your kids about stories you’ve read together can be a very beneficial experience. Even when they’re young, it might be a short conversation, but that’s okay. Right now I’m reading “Star Wars” with my oldest, and it’s fun to talk after we read a chapter where he things the story will go and how it might evolve. Story telling is important to me and it’s also a part of our daily lives.
• 18:42 Rachel: Last summer I put together a summer reading list for the kids. One of the books I read aloud to them was “Old Yeller,” which is a very sad book. We talked about it afterward and our second oldest almost cried. We were able to have a really great conversation about what happened, why it had to happen, and what could have happened.
• 19:59 Ben: Most of the movies out there for kids tend to have happy endings. The ones that don’t are often out of reach for children. Books help children deal with sadness earlier.
• 20:42 Rachel: And it introduces it in a more gentle way because instead of being shown images of loss or grief, the book causes them to imagine those things for themselves.
• 21:01 Ben: When our children are exposed to grief and death through literature, it helps them to deal with those things later in life in a much healthier way.
• 21:39 Rachel: Damien asks “How do you know when your child has developed an intrinsic motivation to read?”
• 21:50 Ben: When our oldest was five years old, we almost never encountered him without a book. I think you know when you see it.

When we talk about stories, we help our children develop their ability to tell stories.

• 22:30 Rachel: I think it goes deeper than that. Our second child, Asa, likes to read, but he doesn’t carry a book with him everywhere he goes. You can tell that intrinsic motivation is there from the enthusiasm they show around reading. When I mentioned to Asa that I was putting together a summer reading list for him, he became really excited. A question that might follow is “How do you help them develop an intrinsic motivation for reading?” You do this by find stories that they love. It may not be what you’re into, but it might be something they’re really enthusiastic about. Our oldest loves comic books right now, and that’s not my cup of tea, but it’s still reading so I encourage it.
• 24:41 Ben: As an adult, any time I sit down to read a book, I see it as a commitment. Some of the difficulty I’ve experienced getting into books is because, despite the old saying, “You can’t judge a book by its cover” I do judge a book by its title, cover art, and back copy. It takes work getting through the first few chapters and getting to know the characters, even if the author is very good. Your child might be having a similar experience with reading. We once encouraged Jadon to start reading the first book in a series and even checked it out from the library for him. He wouldn’t start reading it on his own. It wasn’t until we played the first few chapters of the audiobook for him that he fell in love with the story and ended up reading all of the books in the series.
• 26:29 As our children get older, a great strategy for maintaining that love for reading is to keep in touch with their interests and personality, find books you think they would enjoy, and set aside a time to read it aloud to them. The idea of reading a book aloud to a twelve or thirteen year old sounds funny, but if you set aside time for it and make it a regular practice, it could be something they really look forward to.
• 27:44 Rachel: I just want to point out again that intrinsic motivation looks differently for every kid. Just because they’re not carrying a book around with them everywhere doesn’t mean they lack a love for reading.

Introduce Nonfiction to Connect Reading to Their Interests

• 28:35 Ben: As we’ve been talking, I’ve been thinking in terms of fiction, but if you find a subject your child is interested in, introducing them to nonfiction can be a great way to connect reading to their interests. In an age where information is at our fingertips, reading offers a fuller experience, because not only are you learning the specific thing you want to learn, you are getting more of the context around it because you have to read through a chapter or even a whole book to get to that information.
• 30:11 Rachel: Last year we had a goal of reading three biographies, and that was fun for them because they got to learn about real people. One of them was George Lucas, a filmmaker Jadon admires.
• 30:36 Ben: It was really cool to see Jadon go through the connections. At first he just really enjoyed reading Star Wars stuff. Then he wanted to learn about the person who created Star Wars so he started reading about George Lucas, which inspired him to want to become a filmmaker which led to more reading about filmmaking. We can help foster a love of reading by helping our children make these connections. Is there a fictional book or character they really like. Maybe they’d be interested in reading about the person who created that character, or about the time period or setting in which the story takes place, or even the specific tools that were used by the character.

Should You Read on Screens?

• 31:58 Rachel: Cory Miller asks, “How do you balance reading books and building those skills and staying relevant with the screens and technology of today?”
• 32:20 Ben: It’s been a little easier for us because we didn’t start with technology. We didn’t make it a normal part of daily life so our kids haven’t come to expect it.
• 32:59 Rachel: I think the question may have more to do with reading on screens and e-readers. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screens before the age of two. I’m still a little on the fence about using it with the older boys, but I do know that when you read something on a screen versus reading from a book, you don’t retain as much of what you read.
• 33:53 Ben: The tactile experience with a physical book makes it easier for the information to stick in the brain. Studies have shown that a tactile experience triggers better memorization, not just for reading, but also for writing.

Read the Book or Watch the Movie?

• 35:04 Ben: When I was a kid I really wanted to watch the Jurassic Park movie, but my mom made me read the book first, and I’m so glad she did. It caused me to get to know the characters and the world in a way I wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. When I watched the movie it was a more enjoyable experience because I already had the context of what I had read in the book, so I was able to pay closer attention to the details.
• 36:36 Rachel: A book is also able to convey a lot more information and forces you to use your imagination to envision the characters and the world they inhabit.

Read Separately and Talk About the Story

• 37:47 Ben: As children get older, find books you can read separately and then come back and talk about it. Treat it like a book club where you read the same book and come back together after a month and talk about the story. Books are a form of influence, and like it or not, there are many influences that come into our child’s life as the grow and learn. Talking about books is a great way to foster healthy communication by demonstrating that you are open to hearing their interpretation of the influences they’re experiencing in the books without feeling the need to push your own agenda.
• 40:46 Rachel: Kids learn from stories that they are not alone. They also get the rich dynamic of another person’s experience. It’s one of the ways they learn empathy.
• 41:10 I wanted to touch on two more things. First, I read early on that the father’s example is more powerful than the mother’s example. When the dad demonstrates a love for reading, the kids are more likely to develop a love for reading. The second thing I wanted to encourage you with is to be okay with reading in times you wouldn’t expect. For example, I sometimes read to the boys during bath time, or while they’re eating their lunch.