Stop Judging Moms: No One Has Any Idea How Hard This Is

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Abbreviated Transcript 
So it was a rough day. You yelled a bit and feel like you failed at the job you consider most important. If you’re a normal Mom, you feel like you’re not doing a good enough job. But you are. I know because I’ve worked with almost a million Moms.

You are NOT a bad Mom if…

Your child doesn't brush his teeth or hair, listen the first or fifteenth time, or eat everything (or even anything!) on his plate.
Your kids squabble with each other and act ungrateful. Your kids go to school with mismatched clothes (or the same hoody for 18 straight days!). 

You feed your child potato chips for breakfast because sometimes you have to make it through the moment so you can accomplish 100 other tasks that are more important!

You get calls from school because your pre-schooler doesn’t sit in circle time, your 3rd grader doesn’t follow directions, or your teenager does the bare minimum just to get by.

People judge you constantly and think you just need to get better control of your children (as if you haven’t already been firm and consistent with consequences).

YOU are a GREAT Mom because no one has any idea what you have sacrificed so your kids can be happy and safe, so your home doesn’t fall apart, even though you feel judged and alone. You’re not.

YOU are a GREAT Mom because even when you are exhausted, you get up in the middle of the night to calm your child’s fears even though your simplest needs often get ignored; because there is nothing as relentless as the love of a mother. You are a GREAT Mom and don't you forget it.

Most of you don't really believe that or feel like that inside.  So what can you do differently to get rid of that guilt or feeling of never doing enough?  

(1) Stop comparing yourself. Don’t believe those Instagram posts featuring parents who juggle it all effortlessly. Stop internalizing your own mother’s guilt trips. Those are lies. Instead, surround yourself with people who understand how hard this is.

(2) Actively counter those negative voices in your head with positive affirmations. You'll hear that in the Straight Talk for Stressed-Out Moms program. It's very powerful when you create a new soundtrack in your head to replace the old one.

     - I am not responsible to make sure everyone is happy, grateful, and well-behaved. 
     - I am not responsible for making sure everything goes smoothly for everyone else.
     - I relinquish that responsibility so my kids and spouse learn how to control themselves.
     - Today, I take care of myself so I can give without feeling exhausted or resentful. 

Wake up and say your own affirmations every day until they become internalized and you actually believe them!

(3) Do unto yourself as you have done to others. I dare you to take this challenge. Yes, it’s a twist on the admonition to “Do unto others as you would have them to unto you.” But you already do/give to others—you just don’t take care of yourself well. And that will leave you feeling drained and resentful.

Why DO you give so much to your kids and others? Because you deem them worthy of your unconditional support, encouragement, forgiveness, and love. 

Why, then, do you make those same feelings toward yourself so conditional? Don’t you think YOU are just as worthy of giving yourself and receiving unconditional support, encouragement, forgiveness and love? Well you are. 

And it’s about time you started acting like it. You ready?