Ep 017: How To Easily Deal With Anger

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Hello, Brett Campbell here and today we’re going to talk about how you can handle and how you deal with anger. Now you’re either one of two types of person. You’re the person that just gets frustrated, smoke comes out of your ears, your hair stands on end or you’re the type of person who seems to just never get angry. I mean, people ask me all the time, they go man, you never get angry, why don’t you get angry at these type of things. I used to, but now I’ve learned how to be able to deal and develop strategies on how I can process the current situation. Take someone driving and cutting you off for example. We’ve all been there, we’ve all done it. Okay.

Now if you have never, ever cut anyone off and then someone cuts you off, I could probably understand how you’re getting a little bit angry about that because it’s not the right thing to do. You could have almost had a crash but using a principle that’s from Steven Covey, the seek first to understand principle, where, and that’s from the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, highly recommend you read that book. That principle talks about seeking first, imagine that person who has driven out there, I don’t think they meant to cut you off on purpose.

Now there’s not many people out there who are driving cars going, I’m going to cut off some people today. They’re not like that. They’re just probably or possibly not the best drivers and maybe they do need to get some lessons, but getting angry about the situation is not going to solve the, or give you the outcome that you’re probably looking for. Imagine going into a situation, something happens and you’re just, inside you’re like oh I’m so angry, but on the outside you just look calm. Calm, you’re taking it in, you’re like wow, I don’t agree with this but let it happen, unfold, work through the emotion.

I want to give you a quick background on the two ways that we can only handle emotions. There’s either the expression or the suppression. The expression, there’s three emotions that fold under the expression that are seen as socially acceptable to express and that’s peace, that’s joy and that’s love. It’s cool to walk up to someone and give them a handshake, then give them a hug when we’ve met them, when you’ve seen them, maybe a good friend. You’re giving them a big hug or maybe you’re just seen your partner just come off a plane, you go up, give them a big kiss. That’s acceptable. Love is acceptable.

Being happy is acceptable whilst if you’re watching media you probably think something different. Of course peace being peace. You know those type of people, you can just look at them and go man, they just look so peaceful right now. Then there’s three emotions that are not socially acceptable to express and that’s anger, that’s having an outrage at someone walking down the street, start yelling. That’s not acceptable. That’s not acceptable behaviour, not for any adult any how. The next is fear. It’s not acceptable to be running down the street, the world’s going to end, the sky is falling. Remember that Chicken Licken song?

That’s really not an acceptable way to behave. Then there’s sadness. You’re not going to walk down the street crying, balling your eyes out because it’s, people are going to start looking because it’s not socially accepted. What happens is when you don’t get to express the emotion, it starts suppressing itself and building itself up inside. Imagine a cup dripping a drop of water, drop of water, drop of water over time there’s going to be so much water in there it’s going to get to the top and it’s going to start to overflow. That my friend is where your anger starts to take a turn for the worse.

If you are someone and you’ve used the excuse, I’ve got a short fuse, no, no, you’ve just got a full anger glass right now. We just need to empty that. I’m going to show you how you can do that.